Monday, July 21, 2008

Strawberry Shortcake



Did anyone else play with Strawberry Shortcake when they were a kid?  Men, before you grunt, and roll your eyes, I assume you are familiar with the fact that there did, in fact, exist a Strawberry Shortcake?  Well, she still does.  Yesterday, N. accompanied us to Blockbuster and decided to rent Strawberry Shortcake.  Apparently, she didn't think our selection of "Dogma" would be entertaining enough.

Is anyone else completely taken aback from the difference in old school Strawberry Shortcake and the newer version (released in 2002).  The top one is the newer version.  Sorry, I haven't figured out how to caption images just yet.  

Why is Strawberry Shortcake so damned skinny all of a sudden?  After watching the movie with N., I learned that there is still a fudge river in Strawberry Land and that she continues to be best friends with Ginger Snap, nemesis to all dieters, who still makes the best cookies.  So, the only conclusion I can come up with is that in the past 25 years, Strawberry Shortcake has developed a very effective, but quite possibly dangerous eating disorder.  How else can she eat all of that sugary goodness and still lose weight?  I haven't eaten anything that isn't baked, grilled or boiled in three weeks and am only down one and a half pounds.   

I watched that God-awful movie, whose name I will not tell you so that you will not even be tempted to rent it for your child,  and I had to tie my hands together so I wouldn't wolf down a box of cookies and chocolate bar.  And since I can't do that to N., I had to give her a piece of chocolate after it was over since she kept asking me for cookies and I didn't have any.

Strawberry, can I call you Strawberry?  Get some help.  You are perfect just the way you are. Why don't you move out of Strawberry Land?  I suggest D.C., Tariq tells me it's a great place to live.  Since there aren't any supermodels there, your treatment promises to be far more successful.  Best of luck.  Oh, and don't make any more movies. Please.

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5 Comments:

Blogger Avitable said...

I had an unnatural obsession with smelling Strawberry Shortcake as a child.

Tuesday, 22 July, 2008  
Anonymous Faiqa said...

avitable, i just don't know how i'm supposed to interpret your admission to that.

Tuesday, 22 July, 2008  
Blogger Avitable said...

In the worst possible way.

Tuesday, 22 July, 2008  
Blogger Tariq said...

I don't appreciate your negative and sarcastic comments on Ms. Shortcake. Although I never knew her character as a child, I don't think one can ever be too old to wish upon a land where you ate whatever the hell you wanted and still looked like a supermodel. YES, i did just call Strawberry a supermodel. Oh, in case my family is reading this, Strawberry is not the name of a stripper...

Friday, 25 July, 2008  
Anonymous Faiqa said...

tariq- i hope you and ms. shortcake will be very happy together. and btw, how do you *know* she is not a stripper?

Monday, 28 July, 2008  

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